Glimpse of Heaven
by Sideos
Summary: A demonic Ciel returns to walk the surface world and reminisce on the life he once had, only to find that life has clearly moved on without him. A long talk with an adult Elizabeth Middleford reveals more about him than he'd like to admit.


_Just a oneshot about Ciel and Lizzy and angst and silly things like that because I got bored and wanted to write something. For those interested this has hints of CielxSebastian and ElizabethxCharles Grey. _

_ENJOY._

* * *

Ciel had almost forgotten what the sun felt like. He had forgotten what fresh air smelled like. What life sounded like. The colour of leaves and the feel of a breeze on his skin. It was all so new to him once more.

He remembered the last time he had seen the human world, a glance over the Cliffs of Dover before telling Sebastian to take him to a world where humans and demons were the same. And so his butler had obeyed.

Hell was beyond words. Beyond understanding. Beyond anything Ciel had imagined. It was perfection and ruin. Pleasure and pain. Glory and loss. It was a world where demons and humans walked together in peace but also in war. Hell was a land of fire and ice and chaos.

Oh yes, there was always chaos in Hell.

And Ciel had given himself to it. He had tempted and been tempted. He had raped and been raped. He had killed and been killed. He had not tasted everything Hell had to offer however, for how could one being see everything in a land which could do the impossible and cater to every dark desire dreamt in the hearts of mankind?

But even the seemingly young boy needed to get out. From the chaos, the Hellscape. He felt a need to return to the surface world, if only for a little time. Ciel wasn't even sure why he had come back up. Maybe it was to check on his home, his servants, maybe it was simply because he was bored of the chaos of Hell and Sebastian's ever watchful eye.

It was true the servant had become more like a demanding father, slowly teaching Ciel the powers his demonic form could unlock. Though more and more Ciel was wondering if that was all the demon was after... He felt less like a master commanding a servant, than a student obeying a teacher.

Or perhaps it was something more. He wasn't sure where the line was between servant, teacher, lover, punisher, saviour or murderer. Sebastian had almost become as much a part of Ciel as Ciel had to Sebastian. Almost like the demon was purposely shaping him to become his own spawn.

But such thoughts were foolish. Ciel held the contract forever and clearly he was in charge.

And now he was here. Standing in Hyde Park, a place he hadn't been to in so long. The Crystal Palace had gone and the London he remembered seemed to have become... taller, bigger, noisier somehow. Motorcars passed by which fascinated the young man. He would have to own one, no doubt they were in Hell somewhere.

He walked through the park slowly, although always staying in the dark shadows of the trees, watching the mortal people picnic. Young lovers courting, children playing, couples talking on benches. The mortal world seemed so petty and simple compared to the vast war and politics of Hell.

Ciel wondered if he missed it. He wondered if he could feel anything at all anymore.  
And then he saw her. Those curls of blonde, the dress of pink and white and her laughter, bouncing through the air on light in almost musical tones. Something in Ciel awoke, though he had forgotten what it was.

But there she was. Elizabeth Middleford.

Her back was turned to him but it had to be her. He watched her, his eye wide, the other still hidden behind the eyepatch that had shared no purpose and yet, for Ciel, still held some form of identity. The demon boy with the hidden eye. In the madness of Hell, it had helped him keep some grasp of who he was.

Ciel's legs began moving slowly towards the girl, as if walking through a dream. His hand outstretched.

"Elizabeth?"

His voice sounded distant on his own lips, speaking in a language he hadn't used in so long.

"Elizabeth?"

Just as his hand was about to touch her shoulder, fingers almost breeching the protective veil of the shadows, she suddenly turned. Her face was just as he remembered it. Pale white skin, almost doll-like, though such a crude comparison was poor taste in describing her. Those pale red lips and thin features with high cheekbones. It was all the same as his long distant memories.

All but one thing.

Her eyes were silver.

"Excuse me, my Lord, but do I know you?"

The same delicate, sugary sweet voice. And yet those eyes. They were supposed to be green like oriental jade. But they were a strange mixed silver, like liquid mercury and swirled in a similar manner.

He had seen those eyes before. Strangely, Ciel thought of rapiers.

"I-I..." Ciel gaped, feeling like a fool. He remembered suddenly that it had been years since he'd been here. Time had passed, people had grown older and moved on.

"You remind me of someone, you know." The girl quickly butted in, turning to fully face him, even leaning forward a little, those silver eyes piercing him like swords. "Maybe from a picture..."  
"Louisa!" A voice rang out suddenly and the girl immediately straightened up, her eyes widening. "Louisa, why must you always escape me!"

The girl turned her head and Ciel followed her gaze. Walking towards them swiftly was a tall woman, slim figured and beautiful to look upon. Her skin was pale and her hair long and blonde and her dress a shining silver with black highlights. For a moment, Ciel thought he knew her from somewhere.

"I'm sorry Mama!" Louisa smiled sweetly, obviously trying to escape whatever trouble she was in. "I just saw a squirrel and had to chase it. Anyway, I met this boy who seems very nice! Though I didn't get your name?" She turned to look at Ciel, a curious smile on her lips.

Though before Ciel could even answer, the woman, who now stood behind Louisa, answered for him. "Ciel Phantomhive."

The name fell from her lips like ice. Her whole body seemed to stiffen, her eyes widened in what was only horror... then slowly they hardened and became like stone. Those jade-green eyes which Ciel had expected to see on the girl.

The woman stood in the sunlight, an arms length from Ciel himself and yet she seemed a thousand miles away held safe by the light, away from Ciel's demonic shadow.

"Elizabeth." He looked up to her and was shocked to actually be looking up.

"... Louisa, go find your sister, she's with Meyrin." Elizabeth asked simply, though her tone sounded far more like an order.

The girl did not question her mother. She nodded and turned, calling out, "Bye Ciel Phantomhive!" before running back across the park. The mother's eyes looked back to Ciel. Though her body had matured and aged, Elizabeth's eyes still sparkled with a youth that would never leave her.

Though right now, it was more like a flame of anger and fear.

There was a long and pregnant silence. A thousand questions hung between the woman and the child.

Finally, it broke and yet none of that tension left.

"You didn't die. Did you?" Elizabeth's harsh question cut through the air between them. "Do I even want to know what happened to you?"

"No." Ciel replied simply, honestly. "It is better you never know."

"It was that butler, Sebastian, wasn't it?" Her fists clenched slightly.

"Yes it was." Ciel did not look away. "But it was my choice."

Elizabeth paused, teeth gritting and yet her anger was still kept in check, perhaps only by the public manner of their meeting place. "You left us, Ciel. The people who loved you, I loved you."

"It was my choice." Ciel repeated, eyes unwavering from Elizabeth's. "I died a long time ago, Elizabeth, with my parents."

The woman stood for a moment, eyes widening just slightly as he spoke her name, perhaps out of surprise that he even remembered it. She seemed to pause again. "Do you know how long it took for me to get over your death? For your servants? For Soma?"

Ciel looked down slowly. He hadn't thought about any of them in so long, it was strange to even think of them as alive anymore. Hell made you assume the worst about everyone, to even think they lived on without him...

"I was drenched in black, Ciel. I was a widower at fifteen." Elizabeth spoke softly now, sadly but no tears came to her eyes. It was clear that the little girl Ciel knew had long gone. "I mourned you for so long."

"But you moved on." Ciel suddenly cut in, looking back to her gaze. "Why?"

"Did you really think I'd mourn you forever?" Elizabeth shot back, her strength shocking Ciel. "Are you really that selfish, Ciel?"

The young boy paused again. Had he really expected that? Or had he simply assumed they would and walked away, happy to walk headlong into Hell believing that his new demonic form would open a new life for him?

No matter how many sins he had performed in the vast fires of Hell, this life would always be part of his past.

And he had forgotten that.

"You always were self-centred." Elizabeth commented slowly. "I loved you to pieces but I always knew you only valued yourself. Friends were secondary to your obsessive little missions with your pet butler."

Ciel's eye met her again, this time angry. "No! I was on a mission, Elizabeth. I had to avenge my parents and when I'd done that I walked away. What was I to do? Sit in my mansion with my enemies dead and think of how lucky I am?"

Elizabeth stayed quiet.

"I sold my soul to get revenge," He spat out quickly, "It was all I existed for."

"Revenge is the path of fools, Ciel." Elizabeth announced in a quiet tone. "I could have taken revenge on you at any moment now for causing me more heartache and pain than I thought I could ever feel... but I didn't." She smirked. "Because that would be foolish."

"I could kill you where you stand." Ciel announced with a frown.

"I'm sure you could. But you won't," Her smirk became suddenly knowing and sly and all she did was cock her head slightly. "Because you know inside that you wish you were me."

Ciel froze, his eyes growing wide. "Wha-what?"

"Wherever you are now is certainly not Heaven, which is why you've come here." She looked around slowly. "I suppose you are dead and you miss this. Life. You may have been a grumpy little brat, Ciel, but you at least lived."

Ciel had no answer to this... because he knew it was true. He hadn't returned to see motorcars or smell the flowers. He had become because Hell... was not real, not as real as this. This simplicity, this mortality. It was real.

Hell was the very opposite to all of this. It was chaos incarnate.

"Imagine if you'd stayed. I might would become Lady Elizabeth Phantomhive, wife of the Queen's watchdog and have two of your children running about my feet all hours of the day." She chuckled slightly. "And you'd be still working for the Queen. I wonder if you'd be a handsome man, you always were a cute boy."  
She looked him up and down slowly. "Though now you're so very ugly. Not physically of course, that will never change. But inside, I can see it in your eyes. You've seen things and done things that no one should ever witness."

Ciel nodded slowly. "Where I've been, where I'm going back too... Elizabeth, promise me you'll never go there." Somehow he knew she'd understand this.

She nodded. "I won't. I don't plan to sell my soul away for something so petty as vengeance."

The insult stung and Ciel looked down. Perhaps he deserved that one. There was another long pause before Elizabeth sighed and looked away. "I better go. My daughters take after their father. Little trouble makers."

Ciel looked up, a small frown on his face. "Who is their father?"  
Elizabeth chuckled, then began smiling warmly. "The man who came to me when all other men saw me as used Phantomhive goods. He picked me up, reminded me how strong I am and made me feel alive again."

She turned slightly, as if about to leave and her whole body straightened, gaining an instant air of nobility and grace. "I am Lady Elizabeth Grey, wife of the Queen's Butler."

Ciel's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "You married Charles? That bragging, loudmouthed glutton?"

"That bragging, loudmouthed glutton is also very protective, hard working and fun loving." She also winked. "And let's just say I'm not done having his children quite yet." She sighed and smiled, looking up at the sky. "He saved my life, Ciel. I love him more than you'd ever understand."

The very statement made Ciel almost gag with shock. She was... in love with him. Every bit of her shone with it as she spoke about him, her smile, her wink. She adored that man and loved their children.

And he'd given all that up... to become a one of the lost and damned.

She turned and began walking away from her former fiancée. "Goodbye Ciel Phantomhive."

"Goodbye, Elizabeth Grey."

As he saw her go towards the light of the summer's day, the green of the grass and leaves and embrace the two daughters who came running up to her, Ciel realised why he had come to the surface.

Because he wanted to see what Heaven could be like.

* * *

_FUN FACTS. The real Charles Grey actually had a daughter named Louisa and married a woman called Elizabeth! They had 10 kids in total._

_Also Charles Grey was a prime minister. COOLBEANS. CharlesxLizzy is a pet pairing of mine that is so totally not appreciated around here, I'm gonna try and hype it up more (since they're both sword lovers, both badasses and the quiet refined lady should be with the Han-Solo-esk rogue). _

_Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! BYE._


End file.
